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People Disclose Personal Thoughts All the Time

Writer: Niko VerheulpenNiko Verheulpen

To colleagues, to clients… and to the people they lead.


The Smartest Leaders Know How to Make It Count

What if the way your employees talk—what they share, what they hold back, and how they disclose information—was shaping your business more than you realised?



Self-Disclosure in Business: A Powerful Tool or a Hidden Risk?

Compelling research by Diana I. Tamir and Jason P. Mitchell from Harvard University provides fascinating insights into self-disclosure: it activates the brain’s reward system, making the act as pleasurable as financial incentives.

Their study, published in Proceedings of the National Academy of Sciences (PNAS), found that talking about oneself engages the mesolimbic dopamine system—the same neural pathway activated by primary rewards like food or money. Self-disclosure isn’t just a social habit; it’s a deeply ingrained psychological driver, reinforced by the brain’s reward system.


But here’s the paradox:


  • While self-disclosure feels good, it carries professional risks. In the workplace, employees, salespeople, and leaders must navigate the fine line between transparency and overexposure.

  • In leadership and sales, self-disclosure can be a double-edged sword—building trust on one hand but if mismanaged, weakening authority or negotiation power on the other.

  • Without awareness, self-disclosure can blur professional boundaries, shift power dynamics, and undermine credibility.


This blog explores why self-disclosure happens, where it can become problematic, and how professionals can harness it strategically—to enhance performance without unintended consequences.



The Workplace: Employees & the Selective Disclosure Barrier


The Problem

Employees often struggle to implement feedback not because they lack the skills, but because they lack confidence. However, many hesitate to openly share their doubts or challenges—especially in hierarchical settings.


Why?

Selective disclosure is a survival mechanism in structured workplaces. Employees filter what they share to avoid appearing incompetent or unprepared. As a result:

  • Managers don’t see the real obstacles employees face.

  • Employees struggle in silence, afraid to ask for help.


How Structured Coaching Changes This Dynamic

Creating a safe, external space allows employees to open up, leading to:

  • More precise training investments – Focused on real skill gaps rather than assumptions.

  • Greater confidence and ownership – Employees address development areas constructively.

  • Better alignment between training and execution – When learning is tied to genuine self-awareness rather than external pressure.


Businesses that foster a culture where employees can express challenges without fear will see stronger engagement, better training outcomes, and improved performance.



The External Impact: Salespeople & the Fine Line in Self-Disclosure


Salespeople, perhaps more than any other group, feel the pull of self-disclosure.

  • Personal anecdotes build trust and rapport.

  • Storytelling creates emotional connections.

  • Authenticity strengthens relationships with prospects.


The Hidden Risk

However, in negotiation settings, self-disclosure can also work against salespeople.

  • Revealing too much can unintentionally expose pressure points.

  • Personal rapport can shift power dynamics, making it harder to hold firm on pricing or positioning.

  • Buyers—especially in B2B environments—are trained to pick up on psychological cues, using disclosed information to their advantage.


How Sales Professionals Can Use Self-Disclosure Effectively

  • Balance storytelling with strategic positioning – Keep the focus on the client’s needs.

  • Know when self-disclosure helps and when it weakens your position – Avoid revealing negotiation pressure points.

  • Use self-awareness to enhance persuasion – Maintain credibility while staying personable.


The best sales professionals don’t just talk—they manage what they disclose strategically while maintaining authenticity.



Leadership & The Reciprocity Effect: When Sharing Becomes a Risk

Leaders often use self-disclosure to build trust and foster relatability—but when does it go too far?


The Reciprocity Effect & Its Impact on Leadership and Perspective-Taking

A well-documented psychological principle, reciprocity, plays a significant role in self-disclosure. When one person shares personal information, the other feels naturally inclined to do the same.

This dynamic works both ways—but it also has unintended consequences.


When Leaders Share Too Much

  • Employees mirror the leader’s openness, which can blur professional boundaries.

  • Over-disclosure can erode credibility, making difficult conversations harder.

  • Leaders risk losing objectivity, particularly in performance management.


When Employees Share Too Much

  • Leaders may feel compelled to over-engage in perspective-taking.

  • When leaders over-engage in perspective-taking, they may unintentionally reinforce unproductive behaviours, making it harder to maintain accountability and performance expectations.

  • Accountability becomes fragile when understanding is mistaken for leniency.


The leadership challenge? Striking the right balance between authenticity and impact.



Bringing It Together: Why This Matters


  • People don’t just communicate—they disclose. And they do so because their brains are wired for it.

  • Self-disclosure is powerful, but it must be intentional. In business, unstructured openness can weaken negotiation leverage, blur professional boundaries, or create blind spots in leadership and performance management.


The key is not to eliminate self-disclosure but to channel it effectively. When done consciously and with purpose, self-disclosure builds trust, strengthens relationships, and enhances leadership influence.


But strategic self-disclosure doesn't happen in isolation—it requires deliberate spaces where employees, leaders, and sales professionals can engage in meaningful, structured conversations. These spaces serve as high-trust environments, where employees can express concerns constructively, fostering open communication without fear of judgment. For management, they provide a clear window into the organisation’s reality, offering valuable insights that might otherwise remain hidden.


  • For leaders, these spaces act as filters, helping them balance authenticity with professional clarity.

  • For salespeople, they serve as preparation grounds, refining their approach to client relationships and negotiation dynamics.

  • And for organisations, they are a powerful investment in psychological safety, reinforcing a culture that values transparency, dialogue, and professional growth.


As Stephen Covey puts it, people need "psychological air"—the freedom to express their thoughts and be truly heard—before they can engage fully and contribute meaningfully. The structured external spaces we provide create psychological safety, allowing employees to engage in meaningful dialogue that benefits both individuals and the organisation, enhancing communication, decision-making, and overall business performance.



What About Your Organisation?

  • Have you seen self-disclosure help or hurt a negotiation, leadership decision, or workplace conversation?

  • What strategies do you use to balance openness and professionalism?


The question is not whether people will engage in self-disclosure—it’s whether businesses will create the right structures to ensure that what’s disclosed adds value.


Curious about how structured, co-creative spaces can improve transparency, engagement, and business results? Contact us to learn how we help organisations turn self-disclosure into a strategic advantage.



Disclaimer:

While this article applies scientific findings to leadership, sales, and workplace dynamics, it is important to note that the original study by Tamir & Mitchell primarily explores the neurological basis of self-disclosure as a rewarding behaviour. The implications for business settings—such as negotiation, leadership authority, and selective disclosure—are logical extensions based on these core findings rather than direct conclusions from the study itself.


The original article is available here:Tamir, Diana I., and Jason P. Mitchell. ‘Disclosing Information about the Self Is Intrinsically Rewarding’. Proceedings of the National Academy of Sciences 109, no. 21 (22 May 2012): 8038–43.



 
 
 

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